Real Bondage Blog

N and I have started playing again. You’ll be glad to know that i’m sure. Not playing in the normal sense. She wanted to play with my mind, and who am I to refuse such a gorgeous woman! She bought me a little present of a CB3000. I laughed at first, She didn’t. At that point she asked, nah, told me that it was going on in the morning and I had better please myself before bedtime because it wasn’t coming off for a day or two. Ok, so I was quite intrigued and I thought I would walk this little bondage/denial thing. So next morning it went on. Lots of hints and tips to follow

I think I may have been walking like a cowboy for a while, but after you get used to it, it isn’t so bad, in fact it’s very sexy in a perverse kind of way.

After a few hours it gets harder, the compulsion to pull one off when your semi flacid and can’t get hard is massive, but then again you don’t want to let down your super sexy dominant partner, do you!

Later that evening I was so desperate to orgasm I would have done just about anything to be relieved. To add to my torture, I was told to come and kneel in front of N. She unbuttoned my shirt and then started playing with my nipples, hard. The little minx! Ok, so now it was painful, I was so excited I was dripping, but still no relief. She laughed as she knew I wanted it so much but wasn’t allowed and really couldn’t do anything about it.

We then went to bed and N purposely ignored me. It was so frustrating. My mind was hers. Anything for release!

So I had to think other things. Eventually I fell asleep but woke up about 3am with such a raging semi hardon that it was agony. No way could I sleep. Who would have thought morning wood could be so painful!!!!!

Eventually I came back to bed and slept a bit and was woken up with my nipples being kissed. Oh how erotic but I wasn’t going to escape. N then looked at me, dead in the eye and stroked my balls. The pain came back again. She then laughed, unlocked me and told me to finish myself off. I did, and it was one of the biggest orgasms I have ever had! I even got a cuddle off N post orgasm. She told me it may well become a permanent fixture. Maybe I will blog a bit later about the mental aspect of this, mental bondage if you will.

Sado fun. Doesn’t sound like fun. Well then, you have just been doing it wrong. If it wasn’t fun we wouldn’t do it! Nipple clamps for example can be used as a little taster. Ok so i’m such a raging pervert that I like them a little weighted so they pull a little harder. What I am trying to express in my own way is that torture can be fun. Pain can also be used as punishment, as a control tool, or behaviour modification (This is all for pleasure btw, in not advocating using it to bad ends)

One example of being used as a control is that sometimes Mistress likes me on all fours. I don’t like this. It kind of embarrasses me, humbling even. So to keep me on edge but on all fours she usually uses nipple clamps that are tightly connected to my chute so that should I try to get up, my nipples are really really going to hurt (That is if I don’t have to pick them off the floor ) because severe doesn’t come into it.

This way I know that if I start to get pissy and try and stand up, it will hurt. Therefore I don’t do it. When Mistress wants me on all fours with my butt in the air she gets it! I guess you could call it minor behaviour modification, but I don’t mind if it improves me

In my younger, and perhaps more care free days, I met several people on the internet, some of whom I had relations with, some I didn’t. This was back in the early dates of internet dating. Now though there is a whole explosion of sites to join and hopefully find some to do the most nice awful things to you as well as put up with your bad habits

Browsing around though, you can see where people have put the effort in, and where they havent. This is the differentiator between the successful and not successful, or to put it bluntly, getting some and not getting some!

So in my ever public spirited mind, I have composed a little blog post on finding your bondage playmate. It has worked for me in the past and to be honest, the most important bits never change.

1. Be honest. “No shit” I hear you say, well the amount of ads I have seen that come from people who really either have no clue or are blatently lying is quite staggering. Imagine meeting someone, getting on with them like a house on fire and then saying you really really aren’t an experienced Master or Mistress, makes you out to be a liar and a dick, so just don’t. Ok. There is no shame in admitting your new, we all had to do to it some time. You will get more respect and a higher probability of fun if you are honest.

2. Dont use txt speak m8. It sounds kinda obvious but you will get a lot further with a well written advert with correct spelling and grammer. Ladies are especially put off by bad spelling, or grammer. It’s not good. IF, like me you are a bit crap at grammer, write up your advert text in Word or your word processor, spell check it, then copy and paste it into the web page. It’s easy and it only takes two seconds to get it looking right.

3. Be creative. Ok, I would be the first to admit that I am not the most interesting of people in day to day life, but you have to jazz it up and be honest but give it a bit of pizzaz, use descriptive words, emphasise your great points. Talk yourself up a bit. Have a unique selling point. What makes you different. Why should this sexy Domme choose you over the other guys? Be unique thats how.

4. Write plenty. This, my friends is super important. There is nothing more frustrating than liking the look of someone, clicking and reading and having a two line about me section. A few paragraphs should be a minimum. TOP tip - Mention what you could do for your partner, not just what you would like done to you In the bedroom or out !

Here is a site that I recommend, and more to the point, its free (an added bonus

Just looking back at my life in bondage, I realised that if you want good bondage, you have to work at it. It’s like the old saying, nothing in life is truly free. What has spurred these thoughts into my head?

Ok, so I have no idea what started my little retrospective, but the bit about working at it, every bondage session I have ever worked at, truly worked at, turned out to be one of the top 10. That my friend is one of the best bits of information I can truly give you. Think about it for a minute. If your other half tells you to take a running jump or just isn’t interested you gotta work at it. Working it could mean finding or making the time and the little niceties to make a sexy evening, or it could be that maybe your partner needs a little more help in doing something, so he or she is just so completely shattered that they just want to fall asleep in front of the idiot box (TV)

One of my best examples? A previous partner of mine had a terrible problem with body image so it was always lights out before sex, so it kinda makes bondage a little hard, not to mention dangerous! It took her a while to tell me this after much badgering (in a nice way)

So I gave her a hug and told her it was ok. She thought I had forgotten it all when one night I asked her to come upstairs. I had done all the preparation. She was whisked into a nice hot bath before she could object, with plenty of bubbles to make her a little less self aware of her body. After a nice bubble bath I brought her into the bedroom and told her we were going to have some fun, but she was a little worried. After I fixed her nerves so to speak I put a blindfold on her and tied her hands together so she couldn’t really do much. I then jumped in alongside her and played with her. Paying special attention to some bits with biting and nibbling, a few toys etc. After a short while she was super frisky and I teased her by denying her orgasm a few times, till she asked nicely

She had her moment and was very flush but happy and for a first time, after releasing the cuffs, she cuddled me and thanked me and explained that the blindfold helped a lot. About 3 days later she left me a sweet little message asking, begging even, to have a repeat of it.

Basically it went from a no bondage situation to a loving it situation. It got there through paying attention and being creative. Put those two things together and you can’t fail.

If your looking for more ideas, check out this page for advice

It ain’t no secret, it’s just doing it. Ok I may bang on about it, but just do it. If you want to be lazy just use snapcuffs, kinda cheating though!

The other idea is to get a bit of knowledge. Books and indeed the internet are your friends. You can even find them listed in Amazon these days.

Alternatively, if you want to see some others in action, why not take a look at 24/7 Bondage Cam. It’s a free to join cam site (like duh you hadn’t figured that already!) but there are a lot of experienced bondage people on there that will show you how cool can play, although you can only watch until you get your ass into gear and get those handcuffs jangling.

On returning from my trip abroad I had a relaxing evening with a few friends and a few beers. The subject turned (kinda inevitable wasn’t it!) to what I got up to. They knew I was a little bondage freak and then after much badgering it turned to did I own a gimp mask and gear (jokey jokey ifywim). I told them, obviously, I am a fucking bondage freak!

So ok, a few days of light hearted joking occurred when I saw them although it was discussed in perhaps not the most appropriate times or situations, if you get what I mean. Mouth engaged before brain.

Then a week or so later I dropped round and after a few cold ones, the questions changed. What’s bondage like? What is so good about bondage ? A first just little questions about bondage, but even being half cut, I knew they were wanting info.

I promised to drop round with a few of my books (not ones of me silly, the ABCs of bondage!) I really wasn’t up for discussing it so I made my excuses and went to leave. D’s girlfriend then accidentally (?) blurted that the thought of bondage made her “drippin” I was shocked, and I am not one to be easily shocked, but hey, you never know, they may end up getting “gimped up” as they joked at first.

It has been staring me in the face for a while, just it never occurred to me.

Ok so we like bondage, hell you wouldn’t be reading my bondage blog if you weren’t. However when you think about your partner, which way do you think about them?

A) Submissive and wanting your every bit of torture, tease and orgasm or

B) In control, dominating you and not really giving you a choice in your sexual subservience.

One, or both (if you are a greedy little switch ) thoughts will take you to horny land. In amongst all this crap, what I am thinking, is maybe you have got your roles back to front.

Do you know she isn’t massive sexual deviant twho wants to inflict torture on your sexual bits (In the positive way, not negative).

However she (or indeed he) may feel obligated to perform the role you defined for them? Don’t know/Not sure, just ask them. They may sigh relief and tell you to get upstairs and prepare to get totally dominated and your ass whipped or alternatively they may kneel at your feet and demand to be punished for being naughty.

A post on another blog prompted me into thinking about it. There are those dominants, the ones that are direct, to the point, and know their bondage shit. Then there are the type that waffle on, unsure of what they are doing. If someone was going to tie you up in bondage, which one would you preferred to be tied by. How does all this affect you? Well if you are doling out the punishment (in the nicest bondage sense of the word) try working on:

a) Knowing what you are doing. If you are unsure of what you are doing, read up on it here. Don’t cheat and use handcuffs. Impress your plaything with some proper bondage, like you can find in this book.

b) Secondly if you issue a threat, don’t wimp out on carrying out the punishment if needed. Bare that in mind before you issue the threat.

c) Plan, at least roughly how you want you bondage session to go. Failing to plan, is planning to fail.

We all know what day it is today,  maybe today you should think about starting your bondage adventures.  Think about it, what better day could you choose to try it. A nice meal, nice day, everyone is all loved up and open to better love making, and that my friends means bondage. Ok, so you can’t run to the store and get all your bondage gear, but why not broach the subject of bondage and tying up. If your a little shy on that one, try creating some cards with various things that *both* of you would like to try and put some of your own bondage ideas in there, and just see what happens!

Ok peeps, so your host is now back from the whistlestop tour to Amsterdam (Thanks easjet for the super cheap flights!)

We got there quite early so we got look around town for a bit, and it was a mixture of happyness and sadness that some of the old BDSM communinty haunts where still there, although I didn’t see foxies, THE pre SM club hangout. I searched the right place but I was in a rush so It may (I hope) still be there. Other golden oldies of bondage haunts where Absolute Danny (The alternative shop for your fetish clothes need, yep that one, of world wide repute) as well as the DeMask shop, that I have to confess I hadn’t noticed before.

It makes you laugh about how repressed other nations are when it comes to sexual freedom (or if in bondage, restraint) when you can go into these places and watch a real live (if somewhat tame) SM show. The windows of these places are full of bondage gear, and other bits, all being sold to these oh so innocent customers. Can you imagine this type of shop in your area, or is it me that thinks the way they are playing this is most excellent. The other laughable thing is, that Amsterdam has a lot of underground (or rather discreetly disguised) BDSM clubs. Not going into where they are (kinda defeats the object, and it gives you some fun finding out) and you can go in there as a semi regular (ie they know you) and you can play or just sit and watch. It really is an interesting place to go if you want to experience the wilder side of it all.